Where Do You Stand on Candy Corn?
I’ll start by saying that I love candy corn. If there was a t-shirt that proclaimed such, I might buy it. If it were a key chain or tote bag, it would definitely be mine. But even as a big fan of the tri-colored sweet stuff, I can admit that there comes a point every season where I pop a piece in my mouth and realize I don’t want it. I’m done, the bag gets closed, and I need at least a week off the corn. It’s usually at least 30 or so pieces into a candy corn eating session, but the feeling doesn’t really sneak up on me – it just hits. Piece 29 or 30 or 31 is just as delicious as the ones before it, and then, boom! I’m done. Over it. Take it away. I call it the Candy Corn Wall, and when I hit it, I hit it hard. And apparently, I’m not alone.
I came across an article today on Huffpost Taste – Explaining The Logic Behind Candy Corn Hatred. Recognizing that “candy corn is one of the most polarizing foods of all time”, they set out to find the specific reasons that candy corn’s enemies gave for hating these tiny triangles of yumminess. And they put together a Top 10 list that I, as a candy corn aficionado, can in large part understand. Well, some of them, anyway! Here’s the Top 10 reasons cited by Huffington Post and how I personally feel about them…
1.) They’re basically waxy sugar. – Nope! They’re much more than that! Not that there’s anything wrong with waxy sugar in my book.
2.) They get old quickly. – I’m on the fence about this. I wouldn’t say it happens quickly for me, but as I mentioned above, I do hit that wall eventually.
3.) We’re bred to hate it from a young age. – While I do remember some adults disliking it, and recall a song or two talking about its grossness, overall I come from a long line of candy corn fans.
4.) They can even ruin birthday parties. – I can’t judge this one. I don’t recall it ever being served at a birthday party.
5.) They’re the rejects of Trick-or-Treaters everywhere. – I’m OK with this one, but not because I don’t like candy corn. When I was a kid my mom had us toss out whatever candy wasn’t individually wrapped in case it was germy.
6.) They’re demonic. – 99% sure they aren’t. I’ve been eating it for years, and I show no signs of possession. I mean, I can spin my head completely around, but that’s just because I’m well-hydrated.
7.) It’s the dessert equivalent of eating plastic. – Ya know, it is a little plastic-y sometimes, depending on the brand. But I tend to favor Brach’s, which is always soft and honey sweet.
8.) It’s the quickest way to an uncomfortable sugar high. – Perhaps for the average candy consumer, but I can handle my sugar!
9.) Comedians even hate it. – Comedians hate a lot of things; invalid argument.
10.) They look like rotted orange teeth. – This had never occurred to me, but now that I can see it, I think of it as a spooky perk! Perhaps I’ll whip up a creepy candy head with candy corn teeth!
How about all of you? Are you a candy corn friend or foe? Do you agree with the Top 10 list in all, not at all, or in part? Let us know in the comments! 🙂